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Saturday, 02.04.2012 |
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| Getting The Words Right |
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Product Details
Notes
INTRODUCTION
revision is about making your work better, which can include making it:
more dramatic, memorable, accurate, concise, modern, humorous, etc.
self-centered writers may write only to express themselves
but successful writers will write to communicate with the reader
the goal is to affect the lives of others in some way
revision is not a chore, it's a creative and enjoyable process just like writing
the author suggests revising at leisure at the end of each chapter
during revision, you may find serendipity in a new source of inspiration
this is why you revise in leisure, to keep your mind alert and receptive
SECTION ONE: REDUCE
we almost always write too many words, focus on quality not quantity
75% of revision is eliminating words, the remaining 25% is improving words
01: SHORTEN OR REMOVE WHOLE
CHAPTERS, SECTIONS, AND PARAGRAPHS
look for opportunities to remove entire chapters
think of it in a positive light, it's not necessary, it's an opportunity to improve
look at each chapter closely and see if it moves the story forward
remember that readers don't know what you planned to include originally
they will never miss a minor section, or some minor subplot that is removed
look for your favorite scenes, where you show off a cool idea, setting, or person
see if that idea, setting, or person is integral to the story itself, or just interesting
look for ways to get more meaning out of fewer (but stronger) words
watch out if you go on and on after a point has been made, just to emphasize it
check your flashback scenes and any long sections of internal monologue
look for one powerful description of setting, rather than lots of description
make sure dialogue moves the story forward, and isn't just interesting filler
use summary mode to quickly detail less important points to the reader
at this first stage, don't try to fix every detail yet, focus on the big picture first
if you notice smaller revisions like words or grammar, just flag them for now
02: SHORTEN OR REMOVE SUPERFLUOUS, INEFFECTIVE,
OR REDUNDANT SENTENCES AND WORDS
beginners sometimes try to write perfect sentences in the draft
that actually makes the writing feel stiff and uninteresting
professionals know to let it flow in the draft, but cut ruthlessly in revision
look for weak constructions like "in nature," "appeared to," or "seemed like"
don't qualify your statements in fiction, be bold and assertive and powerful
don't use similes to cover your bases, take a stand and use strong language
play around with alternative phrasings, don't feel chained to your first draft
experiment with new ways to say the same thing, inspiration might happen
look for tautology problems like "the reason was because" or "glance briefly"
tautology is saying the same thing that's already been said in the sentence
also check for pleonasm problems like "more or less" or "due to the fact"
pleonasm is extra words that don't change the meaning of the sentence at all
verbosity usually requires rewriting the whole sentence in a different way
prolixity is mentioning things that are not worth mentioning
an example is noting the exact time, date, weather or other irrelevant details
or giving unnecessary details about the setting that don't add to theme or plot
circumlocution is talking around the subject in a long roundabout way
repetition should be avoided unless it's on purpose to emphasize a point
revision is art, different people will revise differently because of personality
even the same writer will revise differently on different days depending on mood
watch out for tangents and digressions, each paragraph should serve the story
some paragraphs may be relevant, but better placed in a new location
authorial intrusion is a form of digression, watch out for any parentheses
avoid excess modifiers, adjectives and adverbs that slow down the pace
look for overuse of the word "suddenly," can it be rewritten through the action?
choose the right verbs and shorter sentences to make it feel sudden instead
03: REPLACE LONGER WORDS WITH SHORTER ONES
change "abbreviate" to "shorten" or "visualize" to "picture"
be careful not to change the meaning of the sentence
but sometimes shorter or simpler words can make the idea clearer
just consider the shorter options whenever there are really long words
in general, use "toward" instead of "towards", "upward" instead of "upwards"
a systematic method is to start by cutting big chunks, then move closer
gradually zero in on smaller pieces, paragraphs, sentences, then words
once you've cleared away the clutter, see if any ideas are still unclear
these may require restating with brand new words or sentences
Tom Wolfe: "excite the reader both intellectually and emotionally"
don't tell the reader how they should think or feel about something
present the story or ideas and let the reader experience the feelings on their own
humans remember best the information that enters the brain with emotion
SECTION TWO: REARRANGE
rearranging is adding or cutting words, replacing words, or moving them around
sometimes you don't know exactly what you want to say until you write it down
then you may see more clearly what points you really wish to make
then you can revise to make those new points as clear as possible to the reader
three principles for reader comprehension: unity, coherence, and emphasis
04: KEEP UNITY OF SUBJECT AND SCOPE
unity of subject matter means sticking to the main topic
nonfiction in particular should have an appropriate title that covers the topic
editors often say that writers develop their subtopics unevenly
in fiction, the main goal is to tell an interesting story, not describe research
if you learn a lot through research, you're tempted to put it all in
but the reader mostly wants a good story, learning stuff is peripheral
unity of scope means that parallel sections should cover the same areas
usually an outline can help with this, it's about balancing the structure
decide which areas you want to focus on, and cover those for each topic
again this is mostly for nonfiction, where you might have similar topics
like a book on sports, where each sport covers history and famous players
you don't want to accidentally leave out the history of one of the sports
05: KEEP A UNIFIED TONE
tone in writing is similar to tone in speaking, it modifies meaning
tone helps us figure out the originator's true meaning
that might be different from the words themselves, like if it's sarcastic
tone in writing usually results from the cumulative effect of many words
that's why unity of tone is important to maintain consistency of tone
beginners often set the wrong tone early in a piece of writing
sometimes the first sentence or paragraph is informal when the rest is serious
writers must be aware of the connotations of words, the tone that is imparted
humor can often grow out of the multiple connotations of words
another mistake is showing an inadvertent attitude in the writer's style
this could be pompous, arrogant, phony, patronizing, or too sophisticated
inappropriate tone often seems exaggerated to the reader
good tone is often plain, it doesn't draw attention to itself
the goal is to create a plain but unique tone that has clarity
tone is not the same as style, it's just one part of overall style
06: KEEP A UNIFIED STYLE
if your style is modern, watch out for philosophical sentences that don't fit
style is covered in more detail later, but the goal is to use a consistent style
07: KEEP A CONSISTENT POINT OF VIEW AND UNITY OF CHARACTER
the narrator must either be an observer of the action or a participant
first person viewpoint is a participant, third person is an observer
developing believable characters is one of the most essential and difficult tasks
make sure the characters are consistent throughout the story
they shouldn't be stupid at one point and intelligent in another
or shy in one setting and outgoing in another
if there is a discrepancy, it should be intentional and acceptable to the reader
change in a character is good, but it should feel natural based on the events
08: KEEP EPISODES UNIFIED
an episode here is a scene, so an action scene should be mostly action
don't keep interrupting the action with description or background information
description or setting should enhance the plot or develop the characters
the modern reader is used to movies and wants visual active stories
life is better told through dramatic scenes, not narrative summary
put the reader smack in the middle of the action, so they can live it out
internal monologue is often better than narrative summary to show thinking
it lets the reader experience the emotions of the character and understand it
internal monologue is more effective, but narrative summary can be efficient
modern readers mostly want action, so use internal monologue in moderation
09: KEEP VERB TENSES UNIFIED
be consistent with the verb tense throughout
but in flashbacks, you don't have to keep using prior-past tense
once you drop back in time, you can switch to regular past tense
so instead of repeating "had gone" just say "went"
but make sure to use the prior-past tense first to clearly drop back
10: KEEP PARAGRAPHS AND SENTENCES TO THE POINT AND UNIFIED
each paragraph should remain on topic, without unnecessary interruptions
paragraphs should flow smoothly to the next, using transitional words
these can link the language of two paragraphs, or the ideas and content
coherence is more about the correct order of elements to make sense
unity is about keeping all the elements consistent with the primary topic
unity does not ensure coherence, but it helps
the key is to maintain a meaningful relationship among your sentences
put together, they clearly convey the main idea you want to get across
11: ORGANIZE ACCORDING TO THE LOGIC OF
TIME, SPACE, AND DEGREE OF SPECIFICITY
time logic or chronological order is very common
think about whether it's better to go from past to present, or present to future
you can also go from present to past, or begin in media res and then go back
spatial logic is important when describing a setting, moving the eye naturally
viewing the scene from left to right, far to near, or up to down
another type of logic is from general or universal to more specific
start with the big picture and gradually zoom in on the details
you can also go the other way, from the specific out to the universal
12: AVOID PRONOUN AMBIGUITY
make sure it's clear what each pronoun refers back to, the antecedent
the pronoun should match the antecedent in gender, number, and person
watch out for any sentences that start with pronouns, check for clarity!
13: USE COHERENT WORD ORDER AND PHRASING
this is mostly about putting modifier phrases close to whatever they modify
also if there are two results from one verb, you can use the words "not only"
like "not only effect A, but also effect B" which warns the reader about effect B
some sentences have a natural order, through time, relationship, or emphasis
examples are chronological order, cause and effect, and emphasizing a point
the correct order depends on the purpose of the paragraph
14: USE PARALLEL STRUCTURE
when there are two similar parts to a sentence, use the same phrasing for each
sometimes this is just a matter of making two verbs consistent in style
when two parts are unequal, the important part should be able to stand alone
the unimportant part should be in a phrase that could not stand alone
so basically the subordinate clause should modify the principal clause
if two ideas are related, connect them in one sentences instead of using two
15: MAKE EFFECTIVE TRANSITIONS
don't overuse common words like and, but, in addition, or nonetheless
also watch out for in conclusion, nevertheless, and especially however
one option to bridge sentences is to repeat a thought from the first sentence
when doing this, try to use a different word rather than repeating the same word
look to the idea in the last sentence of a paragraph to bridge the next paragraph
you can also use transition by idea, connecting the theme or underlying hints
in general, try to avoid the common formal transitional words and use variety
scene transitions are harder in writing than in movies, since there's no visual
if the new setting is far away, simply mention the voyage or the end of it
an easy way to transition time is to use space breaks or list the date and time
16: ESTABLISH COHERENT BEGINNINGS
modern nonfiction uses strong beginning hooks just like fiction
introduce the main character early, if not right away
if setting is important, the location should be established quickly
at least give a hint about the setting, even if full description comes later
each chapter should have a strong opening, not just the first one
even if the plot is setup correctly, the style must be immediately interesting
a common beginner mistake is to build up to the beginning
usually you can just cut the intro words and jump right into the action
if any of the beginning can be removed without hurting the story, do it
17: DEVELOP CONSISTENCY THROUGH THE MIDDLE
coherence comes from carrying out what you promised in the beginning
1) have you fleshed out the main characters?
sometimes you may need to add new scenes to develop characters more
other times you may want to add a subplot or even a new minor character
also consider extending current dialogue to show more personality
2) is the plot thickening, yet remaining clear?
the plot is hinted at in the beginning, then it unfolds in all its complexity
conflict intensifies to the point of crisis, and solutions lead to new problems
analyze your story as though someone else wrote it, read it objectively
make sure the foreshadowing is appropriate, things should seem reasonable
3) have you developed the argument or thought well enough?
don't include every bit of research or evidence, weak points weaken everything
ask whether the middle starts to answer the questions posed by the beginning
sometimes the middle answers new questions you didn't think of originally
go back and add those questions to the beginning to set them up properly
or remove those new questions and save them for another piece
18: WRITE EFFECTIVE AND COHERENT ENDINGS
in nonfiction, always include a short, sharp summary in the ending
try to come up with a memorable summary rather than just repeating words
try to add one or two new points that strong right at the end to reward readers
keep the ending in fiction brief, but tie up all the plot elements
write an efficient denouement that finishes the story in a concise manner
one option is to connect the end back to the beginning
let the important themes resonate through the ending
show that the main character experienced growth without lecturing the reader
let the reader feel like the characters have life after the book ends
the ending and opening must both be powerful and efficient
so these two areas often require many, many rewrites and revisions
see if you can throw away any words in the ending without losing anything
that means the true ending happens earlier, just like the true beginning is later
19: PUT THE PARTS INTO THE RIGHT PROPORTIONS
readers will sense emphasis based on how many words you assign to an idea
don't write a lot about secondary things or less important points
just because you know a lot about a topic doesn't mean you want to emphasize it
another problem is focusing too much on something, then changing your mind
when the draft is complete, re-evaluate your original goals
if you've changed your goals, make sure the proportions are consistent with that
20: PUT IMPORTANT THINGS ANYWHERE BUT IN THE MIDDLE
the best position for important words is near the end of a sentence or paragraph
the next best position is at the beginning of a sentence, paragraph, or section
the middle is used to support and develop the main ideas
21: UNDERSTAND THE PSYCHOLOGY OF EMPHASIS
the more vivid or stimulating the experience, the longer the memory will last
this is why we want to show, not tell, to let the reader live the experience
the brain understands new ideas by associating them with old knowledge
the most memorable words are at the end of a sentence, right before the period
the eyes of a reader scan ahead and back, not steadily from left to right
this helps the brain quickly put the words into context based on the whole text
a powerful position is the end of a sentence at the end of a paragraph
similarly the end of a chapter provides lots of white space to add a pause
this lets the reader's brain process the information and store it into memory
22: USE EFFECTIVE REPETITION OF
WORDS, PHRASES, SOUNDS, AND IDEAS
alliteration can be effective if it's used appropriately and on purpose
repetition of words or phrases can emphasize a point
parallel constructions such as the tricolon split a thought into three parts
repetition of words is about creating rhythm
repetition of ideas can give a fuller picture through all the senses
spiraling lets you explore the same idea from different angles and perspectives
this is like how a movie director uses distant and close shots of the same scene
the writer can zoom all the way into a character's mind to reveal more
look for places where your point is not getting across, express it in more ways
23: VARY THE LENGTH OF SENTENCES, PARAGRAPHS, AND CHAPTERS
shorter, punchier sentences often create more emphasis
try shorter sentences, even one word, at the end of paragraphs
also try repeating a key word or short phrase at the end for emphasis
try short paragraphs also to create additional emphasis
white space creates time for the reader to think which results in emphasis
a short chapter among many longer chapters stands out
use this for a major twist in the whole story
24: EMPHASIZE THROUGH CAREFUL WORD CHOICE AND POSITIONING
there are almost always at least two or more ways to order words in a sentence
be careful positioning the word "only" to modify the correct word
the word "even" can also affect the meaning if it's misplaced
try moving adjectives after the noun using commas for more emphasis
25: USE SPACES, PAUSES, AND
SPECIAL TYPOGRAPHY FOR EXTRA EMPHASIS
use commas to create intentional pauses that emphasize key words or phrases
irony is another figure of speech that can stand out if properly used
underlining and italics create contrast only if used sparingly
other typographical devices include boldface, all caps, bullets, font changes
also highlighted words, indented blocks, outlined letters, and parentheses
layout plays an important role, specifically type, graphics, and white space
26: AVOID THINGS THAT KILL EMPHASIS
overuse of exclamation points kills emphasis, find the right words instead
passive voice (using "was" or "were") can make a sentence feel weak
abstractions include generalities like "one should" instead of "you should"
euphemisms are meant not to offend people, but they aren't strong words
circumlocution is writing around the topic, which is also weak
intensives include "awfully" or "certainly" or "extremely" or just "really"
these are meant to add emphasis, but they are excessive and overused
worn words include cliches, catchwords, slang and colloquialisms
many of these phrases come to mind easily during the first draft
but they should be edited out, or used intentionally for a specific effect
most of the time, weak wording is a sign of unclear thinking or purpose
during revision, you now know the ending and the overall goal, so apply it
hyperbole or exaggeration can provide humor, but it can also go overboard
SECTION THREE: REWORD
a good narrative style does not attract attention to itself
at the same time, it creates a subconscious impression of the writer's voice
27: DEVELOP AND RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN SPECIAL STYLE
your style really comes through in revision, that's when you choose words
don't consciously try to reword for style, reword for clarity and conciseness
rewording comes last, after the big picture cuts and rearrangement
style comes through in an overall impression, not just in specific details
don't worry about what people will think of you
focus on how to express your idea and create the feeling you want
your style will come through naturally if you focus on precision
don't try to sound fancy or intelligent, be yourself and it'll be appreciated
forget about your style when writing, it will come through on its own
if you focus on style, you come across as superficial and fake
build your self-confidence and make a strong impression with your ideas
try to express exactly what you intended, not just approximately
28: SELECT THE BEST WORD, BEST PHRASING, MOST EFFECTIVE DICTION
revision is a creative effort to improve the words in order to improve the effect
have confidence that your diction does not go away, it may feel like it sometimes
29: IMPROVE YOUR DICTION WITH SHORTER, MORE ACTIVE WORDS
diction is choosing the perfect word that expresses the exact shade of meaning
build your vocabulary of expressive words, not just big fancy words
you need to learn lots of strong verbs and nouns, not adjectives or adverbs
most simple words of Anglo-Saxon origin create strong sense impressions
words with Latin origin are often longer and more abstract and complex
30: SCRUTINIZE YOUR VERBS--KEEP THEM ACTIVE
pay careful attention to the full intent of your verbs and choose active verbs
look for passive verbs based on "to be" like is, am, was, were, are, will be, etc.
active verbs create mental images where the reader can see the action
31: LIMIT MODIFIERS
try to express thoughts with strong verbs and nouns
only add modifiers like adjectives and adverbs if absolutely necessary
become a word geek, learn new words, look them up in the dictionary
pay attention the words people use in conversation
study the distinctions between similar words, the subtle shades of meaning
32: APPEAL TO THE SENSES
think about all five senses and allow the reader to experience the scene fully
33: USE CONCRETE DETAILS
concrete details are real, specific, and actual, they let you touch the words
think about whether your sentences are really creating a visual image
using words that are too general tells the reader stuff but doesn't show detail
an example is the word "picturesque" which doesn't really say anything
this all goes back to "show, don't tell" which really means show the details
you don't have to overdescribe everything, sometimes it's best to be brief
but if you say something is beautiful, let the reader feel its beauty in detail
otherwise don't say it's beautiful at all because its appearance isn't important
use words that place us right inside the scene, not as outside observers
choose a powerful verb that accurately gives the reader a feel for the action
choose nouns that create memorable images without needing adjectives
leave some things to the reader's imagination, don't detail unimportant stuff
stimulate the senses and immerse the reader in the scene
34: BE SENSITIVE TO RHYTHM AND SOUND
the most satisfying words are the ones best understood and most remembered
sound and rhythm make the sentences pleasing and easier to remember
cliches often have a nice sound or rhythm that makes people repeat them
variation in sentence length emulates the rhythm of real speech
don't write multiple sentences in a row of 40 words or longer
if you want to create emphasis, follow a long sentence with a short one
the average sentence length of academic educated writers is 25 words
but the average length for professional writers is only 15 words per sentence
they still write long sentences, but they relieve the pace with short ones too
look for a large spread between the longest and shortest sentences
short sentences don't mean amateur writing, they are concisely written
try to vary the sentence form also - simple, loose, or periodic forms
simple sentences have no subordinated clause, just a main subject and verb
periodic sentences often interrupt the main point with phrases in commas
loose sentences state the main point, but add more details after a comma
train your ear by reading aloud and listening to the rhythms
the sounds of words within sentences should vary also
the sound appeal of prose should be more subconscious, unlike poetry
you don't want the reader to stop to admire the sound and lose the story
spend a lot of time editing a query letter to make it both rhythmic and effective
35: USE THE SOUNDS OF WORDS AND USE WORDS TO IMITATE SOUNDS
good prose writers create a pleasing rhythm and sound in their writing
readers aren't consciously aware of it, but they know they like a writer's style
in modern writing, the goal is to use subtle rhythm and sound, not obvious
some of this can come from onomatopoeia, words that sound like the meaning
things like blast, ping, hush, crunch, snap, crackle, and pop
these are concrete words that affect the senses better than abstractions
36: USE FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE
the goal is not just to communicate accurately, but also to inspire
appeal to the right brain imagery as well as the left brain logic
we use figurative language all the time to convey common images
a good metaphor is novel yet readily understood
personification attributes human characteristics to something not human
the appeal of figurative writing is that the reader takes an active role in seeing it
metonymy is when part of an object or idea stands for the whole object or idea
hyperbole is exaggeration or overstatement to create intentional emphasis
allusion is a subtle reference to literature, history, or other ideas
37: WATCH OUT FOR MISUSE OF FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE
remember that someone will probably read your figurative writing literally
be careful not to combine any literal and figurative phrases close together
mixed metaphors can make your writing sound stupid or ridiculous
the goal of a metaphor is to create a memorable and appropriate image
inaccurate or confusing metaphors damage the main purpose of the image
the value in using figures of speech is to say a lot with a few words
a metaphor is weaker if it goes on too long or makes too many comparisons
analogy is good for explanation, but not for argumentation or proof
don't overuse personification just to make fancy or literary writing
be careful of using allusions that most common readers nowadays might miss
focus mostly on being concrete and specific rather than abstract
but use figurative language creatively to write truly memorable phrases
38: AVOID DISTRACTORS AND DETRACTORS
limit obscenities, characters can use them if they fit, but the narrator shouldn't
remember that dialogue should have the ring of truth, but not be verbatim
look for alternative, more subtle ways of providing shock other than swearing
sometimes the effect is more powerful when it's subtle rather than obscene
remember your audience, think of what they would prefer and what's necessary
watch out for sexism, or implying that women are inferior to men in any way
but tell the truth as you see it, use these techniques if they serve the purpose
don't use misspellings to represent dialect, if anything use it occasionally
dialect is better shown through idiosyncratic grammar rather than spelling
cliches should be avoided, look for common phrases or boring description
be careful not to overuse specialized jargon from an industry only you know
at the same time, don't overuse jargon to try to sound impressive
jargon often just confuses the issue, to hide the lack of detailed knowledge
fiction writers use jargon to make a realistic character, but use just enough
39: WATCH FOR COMMON MISSPELLINGS AND INCORRECT USAGES
"affect" is usually a verb, and "effect" is usually a noun except in special cases
"anxious" means there's anxiety, while "eager" means you look forward to it
don't use "badly" at all, just stick with "bad" like when you say you feel bad
don't use "since" to replace "because" like the phrase, since you say so
"bring" means bring something toward you, "take" means away from you
say "centered on" or "revolved around" but not "centered around"
similarly say "focus on" not "focus around" and try spelling it "focussed"
it's all about being precise and making subtle distinctions in writing
"continual" means always going on, "continuous" means without any breaks
generally say "different from" instead of "different than" but this is not strict
"dilemma" means a choice between two bad alternatives, don't spell it "dilemna"
usually say "uninterested" unless it's a "disinterested" party in the legal field
don't use "enthuse" as a verb, use "enthusiastic" or "enthusiasm" instead
"enhance" means a significant change, it's different from saying "improve"
a person cannot be enhanced, but their appearance or other attributes can be
"envious" is more common, whereas "jealous" means affairs of the heart
"farther" refers to measurable distances, while "further" is more abstract
you can climb further up the ladder of success, while you stand farther away
"few" and "fewer" are for items you can count, "less" is for stuff you can't count
it takes less time to go through express because there are fewer people in it
"in" means inclusion within a space, "into" means the direction to the inside
"insure" is mostly for financial matters, "ensure" is to make certain
"assure" is where someone is guaranteeing someone that something is true
"livid" means enraged beyond red, a face more like blue or ashen gray
"nauseated" is to feel nausea, "nauseous" means to make others feel nausea
so "I'm nauseous" is like saying "I make you want to vomit" or "I'm revolting"
"respond" is best for words or speech, use "react" for physical actions
"utilize" means using something not normally used, "use" is the normal form
"whether" means there are two or more alternatives (the "or not" is implicit)
"if" is just setting up a condition for the future, it's different than "whether"
use "whose" only for animals or people, it's the possessive form
"who's" is just a contraction for "who is"
in general, try to avoid using "which" especially if there's another "which" nearby
when you are confused, read aloud and listen for natural breaks in delivery
if there are natural breaks, consider using "which" otherwise try using "that"
also try removing "that" wherever possible, try reading it without the word
overall, this book has lots of useful stuff, but it's extremely slow to read |
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